February 03, 2005

Glenn Reynolds is Evil [Amish]

Everybody seems to think he is nothing more than a friendly college professor from Knoxville who helped kick start this whole blogging thing right? Fools! They don't even have colleges in Tennessee! What do you think they major in- diddling your cousin? Corn holing tourists on canoing trips 101? Frank J tried to warn you, but you just wouldn't listen would you? Reynolds is darkness incarnate. Evil is his business and business is good. Very good. Through a combination of evil, blogads, and off track betting he has amassed an enormous amount of wealth. When hes not snorting coke through a rolled up $100 dollar bill off of a hookers ass, he manages to still find time to spread his wickedness across the globe. Here are his top ten crimes against humanity:

Top ten acts of InstaEvil:

10)He dresses as Santa Claus and pretends to have a heart attack in front of small groups of children.

9)Enjoys nothing better than a good game of dwarf tossing.

8)He's Barbra Streisand's agent.

7)He's the Man. You know ...the guy thats been keeping the black man down for the last 40 years. Thats Glenn.

6)He has to kill hobos to get an erection.

6)Hes currently helping O.J. look for the "real" killers.

6)He wrote the pilot for the show "Full House." He got Bob Sagets soul for that one.

5)He once linked to a blogger in Reno just to watch his server crash.

4)Told Dick Cheney it was casual friday at Auschwitz.

3)Told all of his guy friends that the Crying Game is a really good date movie.

2)He's the one who spooked Christopher Reeves' horse.

1)Told Shelly Long he thought it would be a good career move to leave Cheers. And then he banged her.

[ed. Insta-lanche ahoy!]

UPDATE: Ask and ye shall receive! Welcome Instapundit readers! This post was written by one of my more shy guest-bloggers, "Amish"... as have most of the other recent posts here, so if you've enjoyed this one, be sure to check out any of Amishs' (and my) other posts - we've got some great top-5 and top-10 lists going. Thank you Mr. Puppy Blender!! :)

Oh yeah, check out a snapshot of my site-meter, pre- and post-Instalanche. Hehe. And here's a month view.

One last thing before I'm accused of completely botching this opportunity, if you're not already reading Ace of Spades HQ, you should start now. Great humor/political blog, great community, fun place to hang out, or do whatever it is we do on blogs. Plus, Ace was the first guy to ever give me traffic, so I owe him that much, right?