February 01, 2005

Dave's first top 10

After Amish decided to bust on the scene here and disgrace me with his quick wit and body odor, I'm making my own top 10 list.

Top ten things bloggers do to piss me off.

10. Be funnier than me. I'm a funny guy, but in a Carrot Top meets Pauly Shore way.

9. Making racist statements about Michelle Malkin.

8. Refer to people that no one knows or cares about. (See Cedarford)

7. Constantly refer to monkeys and ninjas. I already know both of them kick ass. Why waste the bandwidth?

6. Making crazy blog money. I write because my therapist says it's a good idea. Maybe the hypnotoad told me to do it. You don't care, why should I?


4. Write better than me. I'll admit it, I'm not a very good writer. I'm a *GREAT* writer and you assclowns need to recognize my talent.

3. Links that want me to register to read the story. That's bullshit I tell you.

2. Constantly make references to "Puppy blending" or "Like a Viking". Hey, I think Glenn and Ace are cool too, but that's no reason to steal their stuff. I've got my own stuff, "Like a puppy blending Viking", that's got a nice ring to it.

1. Being Andrew Franken -- err Al Frank -- err Barney Sullivan. Whatever.