January 31, 2005

Dirty McCedarford

(ed. For those of you not in the know, Cedarford is a semi-frequent commenter over at Ace's. He's a Nazi. Blames "The Evil Joo"™ for everything. No really. Everything (unless it's good). Ergo, our new crack-investagitive team (consisting of Amish) performed some research. Here are his results, heavy stuff folks, hold onto your seats.)

The Top Five Things Cedarford Would do If He Owned a Dairy:

5)Call for an immediate halt to all Bovine expansion in all of the occupied farmland.

4)Keep a close eye on the all those Holsteins. He cant prove it yet- but he's pretty sure they're secretly controlling the farm behind his back.

3)Any bovines exhibiting signs of mad cow disease/zionist tendencies will be quarantined and sent to the Gulag... or the barn- whichever gets built first. Hey, have you ever seen what an architect charges to design a decent Gulag? Highway robbery!

2)Deny that Furor Brown ever sent his cattle to the slaughter house back in the 40's.

And the number one thing Cedarford would do if he owned a dairy farm:

1) He would make sure his cows would make noises that sound suspiciously like "Jew, Jeeeeww," instead of the more familiar "Moo."

Fer Chrissakes

Enough is enough already. (You might have to plug in a zip code, just use: 90210)

Nobody tell Glenn Reynolds, he'll have a Drudge-a-hissy™. He gets all excitable (like Andy) when he hears about Apples newest product. Him and Jarvis... Feh.

This thing is bonkers though - you know how many HOURS of porn you can fit on there?

Amish's boyfriend is hung like a horse.

How else can you explain this?
I mean he's probably a nice enough guy. I'm sure he's popular at the "Manhole" where he and Amish met, but my god, his schlong is massive.

Monkeys like porn too...sweet.

Further evidence that the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.

God strikes Hillary down!

UPDATE: Crap. Looks like she got back up. With that in mind, here's our guest-blogger "Epistles of Saint Amish" with a top five list.


5)Even He's a member of the 'vast right wing conspiracy'.

4)He hates pant suits. You're next Carol Moseley Braun.

3)He's just jealous of her huge book advance. Hell, he wrote a pretty good book didn't he? The Good Book as a matter of fact. So what if the New York times said it was a 'little too preachy'? Over a billion copies sold and he hasn't seen one red cent from those bastards at Gideon. He didn't even retain the movie rights to "The Greatest Story Ever Told".

2)He thought he would let Hillary pitch her health care plans to doctors in person.

1)How long could he ignore Bill Clinton's prayers?

UPDATE: Ace and his commenters respond to the Hillary "diarrhea scare", with the best quote of the week. Looks like God might have had it out for her afterall *diarrhea*??!!?! LMFAO. Not that the best comment needs any explanation, but look for the one from "Hillary's colon".

Factual, but misleading....

60 minutes does it again.

Now I can't speak for the entire story, but I can and *WILL* take them to task for this part.
And a year ago, federal agents raided the headquarters and 10 campuses of ITT Educational Services, investigating charges of falsified grades and attendance records.
Funny, I wasn't aware that this story was being run. I was never asked to comment - or not comment. Why would anyone ask me? I'm the Senior Unix Admin at ITT. I'm responsible for the systems that control the grades and attendence. ME. Let me say that again to validate that. ME. ME. ME. ME.

Is it true that federal agents came here and took stuff? Yes. Is it true that there is a class action shareholder lawsuit pending? Yes. In the eleven months since the feds raided, has one accusation been made in a court of law? No. Are we in business to make money? You bet your ass we are. That's why it's our mission to give every student a quality education, because that's the way we make money. I know I sound like a corporate shill, but these people really are the most honest and ethical business people I've ever seen. Are there dirty players in the industry? Probably, but I know for damn sure ITT isn't one of them.

Now I'm downright pissed off. This AP story quotes:
An FBI raid at ITT nearly a year ago also unveiled bloated enrollment figures, as well as possible grade inflation.
That's news to me. Four months ago we were asked how to read the tapes that were taken in the raid. Of course then there's this gem from the article.
School stocks rallied in midday Monday trading, with Career shares up $1.92, or 5.1 percent to $39.84 on the Nasdaq. ITT Educational Services Inc., which has also been the target by federal probes, rose $2.72, or 5.8 percent, to $49.44, as Apollo Group Inc. rose $1.44, or 1.9 percent, to $78.42.
Wall Street to MSM: fuck off.

Weird news of the day....

Man urinates his way out of avalanche.

From the story.
Hot on the heels of the tremendous news that beer can help fight cancer, we are delighted to report that a Slovak man trapped in his car by an avalanche urinated his way to freedom after working his way through 60 half-litre bottles of beer.
I want this guy on my beer team.
Mercifully, he had stocked up on essential supplies of alcohol and quickly formulated a cunning plan: "I was scooping the snow from above me and packing it down below the window, and then I peed on it to melt it. It was hard and now my kidneys and liver hurt. But I'm glad the beer I took on holiday turned out to be useful and I managed to get out of there."
Screw that, I want him on my engineering team.

January 30, 2005

More Amish gossip...this time about Ace (!!)

O.K. I think that we can all agree that Aces ''I'm going to Sundance to sell a script" story is bullshit. I'm not sure what the truth is but there are a lot of rumors swirling around out there about what Ace has really been up to for the last few days. Maybe 'countless' isn't the right word to use. How about 'ten' rumors? Yep ten sounds right.Which is pretty convenient because here are:


10)Ace is currently in the custody of the federal witness protection program after amassing huge gambling debts to one Glenn"The Blogfather" Reynolds. Ace turned states evidence on Reynolds when Reynolds threatened to "blend his puppies" if he didn't come up with his cash. Ace was quoted as saying "In hindsight i admit it may have been foolish to bet on the Washington Generals to finally beat the Harlem Globetrotters. But come on, man-they were due!"

9)Ace is in rehab trying to break his addiction to Hallucinogenic toads.

8)In what can only be described as a coup, Aces' Star Trek erotic fan fiction has been picked up by the WB, in an attempt to cash in on the success of Showtimes' Queer as Folk.

7)Ace is currently filling the role of Rum-Tum-Tugger in an off, Broadway production of Cats. Co-starring Judy Tenuta as Rumpleteazer and Richard Roundtree as Old Deuteronomy! A memory you will never forget! Cats Now and Forever!

6)Ace has been moonlighting as a 'coyote' smuggling immigrants across the Canadian border. How else do you think Celine Dion and Bryan Addams got in? Talent?

5)Ace is currently on a whirlwind tour of collage radio stations in an attempt to expand his fan base and earn more 'mad blog money'. His masterful use of awkward silence, sporadically broken by bursts of "I CANT HEAR YOU" and "yes, John Kerry is a Drunken bear" wows giggling stoner law students from coast to coast. Unfortunately, due to poor reception, most of Aces' listeners mistakenly believe his blogs name is "Asscapades." And yes- the domain name "Asscapades" is has already been registered by
Brian Boitano.

4)Ace is unable to type after developing carpal tunnel syndrome from smacking Oliver Willis around all day. In related news-- Oliver is an idiot.

3) Ace is actually on the Presidents short list for new Homeland Security director. Unfortunately during the vetting process a "nanny" problem popped up. Don't worry--he didn't hire an illegal alien...he just has a thing for goats.

2)Ace is currently serving a short stint in the local jail for soliciting the services of a prostitute. Remember kids: The best looking hookers are always cops.

And the number 1 reason why Ace hasn't been posting is:


As for me-- I'm betting he's laying in bed, eating corn chips, and watching reruns of Perfect Strangers. Man, he just can't get enough of that Balki. Don't be ree-deek-ulous.

Another post by "Amish the Destroyer"

Lately ive been seeing a lot of blogads featuring this man - Matt Furey -in a slightly homoerotic pose, and today i ...uh...accidently... clicked on the ad (i swear i was trying to click on an Ann Coulter ad- im all man baby and dont you forget it). Well it turns out that Mr. Furey is an instructer in the ancient and deadly art of Hindu Combat. At first i was skeptical. Who wouldnt be? He looked like a bald midget dry humping a piece of shag carpeting. But the more i read the more i became convinced he was on to something; and after careful consideration i've decided to become a hindu. I know i've got a lot of options when it comes to choosing a religion/lethal martial art, but think about it -nobody can kick ass like the hindus. Look at Gandhi. Did any body fuck with Gandhi? Hell no! Some people want to be like Jesus, and sure Jesus had killer abs, but come on -Gandhi was ripped! And just look at that sloppy bastard Buddha. Who wants their lord and savior to have bitch tits? Not me thats for damn sure. And im pretty sure Allah is a flaming queen. Why else would heaven still have 72 virgins? No-im going with "the baddest mutha in Calcutta". Gandhi is the Ted Nugent of Messiahs. He is the perfect killing machine. You know how you get a little cranky when you havent eaten in a while? Well Gandhi hasnt eaten for 6 fuckin' years. How you gonna stop that? You ain't. And if you did kill him he'd just come back as something more badassed. A monkey with a chainsaw or a grizzly bear wearing a codpiece that shoots fire or something equally rad. Dont mess with the Mahatma.

Don't ask how I found this

Just read it. Everyone knows how "lefty's" complain about how the right "owns" all major media, and how dissent is systematically crushed under the Eeeeeeevil Bushitler's neo-facist nazi regime... well, here's what would happen to some people if we were actually getting our way...the Al Franken coverage sounds about right...

All joking aside, the last pic will most likely make you want to vomit all over your keyboard. Please try not to. Though, if there is no other choice, rest assured knowing you had company.

January 29, 2005

So I'm in Florida...

I know this starts like a joke, but it really isn't. Even though Florida was sixty degrees warmer than my native Indiana, the trip sucked ass. Anyway, I'm stuck in bumper to bumper traffic and this song comes on the radio. I'll admit being a bit choked up, but that wasn't me on the side of the road crying. I swear. The singer? Krazy, a 31-year-old rapper who grew up in Tampa as Jadie Singletary. My hat's off to you, Krazy. You represent a hell of alot better than that jackass Judakiss, who asked, "Why did Bush knock down the towers?"

January 28, 2005

Picture of the day

Carniverous Squirrel, via Chad over at Dogtulosba.

Hehehe. That's pretty sick...

Where's P-Diddy when you need him?

I mean, "Vote or Die" - how apropos in this case. But alas, Sean "P-Diddy/Puff-Daddy/Stupid Retard" Combs is nowhere to be found.

The humanity...

January 27, 2005

Amish loves Keith Olberman

"Hi im Keith Olbermann-I was voted Americas sexiest newsman by the readers of Playgirl magazine. Over ten thousand gay men cant be wrong"

The latest cable news ratings are out and things aint lookin too good for MSNBC so i figured i better use this Olbermann trivia i picked up from his Wikipedia bio. while hes still on the air.

Tonights Top Five Factoids:

1)Keiths shoe size is 13 1/2 or 14. This is actually a lie. Keith was naturally a mens size 7. Now its a well known fact that all the "ladies" who read Playgirl are size-queens. You can look it up. So during his campaign for 'Sexiest Newsman in America' Keith knew he had to do something. Enzyte? No. Chinese Rhinoceros horn? No. Cosmetic Surgery. That was the answer for Keith. But being the tireless researcher and fact checker that he is he discovered that Penile enhancement surgery was somewhat risky, so he decided to have his feet enlarged instead. You know what they say about a man with big feet dont you...

2)Keith Olbermann is a mutant freak: He possesses six lumbar vertebrae instead of the usual five. Keith needs that extra vertebrae to stand up to 'conservative attack dogs' trying to bury the Ohio recount story.

3) Keith damaged his depth perception in 1980 by rushing to catch a subway car at New York's Shea Stadium and slamming his head into the top of the door frame. Who the hell would admit to this? He could say he was mugged or was injured in Nam or any thing, but no-he smashed his head into a fucking door frame. Sure everybody bumps their head on occasion but to run headfirst into a subway train is a whole nother kind of stupid. Maybe he forgot about that extra vertebrae making him slightly taller than a normal human? I would say he's ready for the short bus, but he would probably trip over his giant feet and bump his head trying to get on.

4)Bread is like Kryptonite to Keith Olbermann:He has Celiac disease (gluten intolerance)-I have no idea what the hell 'gluten intolerance' is(for all i know it means he hates fat guys) so i had to look it up.Celiac disease is caused by exposure to certain dietary gluten proteins(aka bread) and is characterised by -and i quote-"diahrhea (with bulky, pale, offensive-smelling stools which may float in the toilet bowl." Which is also a pretty accurate description of Countdown.

5)Keith Olbermann wishes Bill O'reilly would share his loofah with him. O.k.- i made that last one up....but they would make a cute couple dont you think?

Which story will you be talking about around the water cooler tomorrow? Probably the one about the stool.

-Atomic 'FatKidsNewGuestBloggerWhosTooLazyToBecomeAMember' Amish

[ed. Thanks for the post Amish!]

UPDATE: He just became a member. I take it back.

Navy sub accident

Link to a HUUUUGE (5166x4085 pixels) jpeg. So, dial-up connections beware.

AFK this thing ran into something. At least, that's the Gov't line. Take a peek at the details of this picture though. Just to the right of the green bulk head, on the exterior plates, doesn't it look like the plates are bent *in*, in addition, why are they are blackened and scarred? Given that these bent in plates are on the top, I'm figuring either this thing 1) had to have been upside down to hit something or 2) got hit *by* something else.

If we're still going to argue that this thing actually full-on RAN INTO something else, well, let's think for a second about what kinds of speeds would have to be involved. Now, I don't know how much these things weigh, or what their "unofficial" top speed is but there are rumors out there of a commercial Boeing 747's wings being "stress-tested", and this things wingtips could touch eachother over the top of the plane. ... let that set in ... Envisioning that level of engineering, isn't it reasonable to assume they design nuclear submarines with just as much (if not more) durability?

*shrugs* Don't make a maniac out of me people.

In any case, go stare at that picture for a while and try and come up with how much you think it's gonna cost to repair the front of that sub. Remember, it costs almost $1.5BN for a new one, and just guess where all the sensitive equipment is on those things...

My first top-10 list, go easy on me

There's a whole lot of hubbub going around about taxpayer money being used for inappropriate purposes lately, so I decided to create a top-10 list of things, that on second thought, Bush probably shouldn't have bought with our money:

Top ten things the Gov't probably shouldn't be buying with taxpayer money:
10) Though the massage might have passed scrutiny, the "happy ending" most certainly does not.
9) Barbara Boxer. 'Nuff said.
8) Teddy "Massachusetts Magenta-face" Kennedy too.
7) Buying Condoleeza Rice 2000 cases of Uncle Ben's Rice because he "thought they were related". (Thanks Sasser!)
6) Bought 40,000 'Support our Troops' yellow ribbons and had them delivered to Fallujah.
5) Had "Baghdad Bob's" head mounted on a pike and delivered to Rumsfeld's office so Rummy can drink his morning pint of baby-blood from his eye sockets.
4) Buying Karl Roves' soul back from the Devil. (Thx Amish!)
3) A treadmill (with a microwave) for Dick Cheny.
2.5) Public proclamation of major funding for NASA to probe Uranus by 2006. (Amish again)
2) More Halliburton/KBR "no-bid" contracts.

And the number one thing Bush shouldn't have used tax payer money to buy...
1) 60,608,582 votes.

Again, comments are open for suggestions!

Must. Entice. New recruit...

I'm trying to convince Amish, (a frequent commenter over at Ace's) to be a guest-blogger over here. He doesn't have a blog of his own for whatever reason, but with comments like this, how can one go wrong? Seriously. That's quality folks. The kicker is he probably wrote it in all of 3 seconds.

Now soliciting recruitment/blackmail techniques. Comments are open...


Son of Nixon's got the hots for the new Tonya Harding. This is twice in a day where I'm struck dumb (ed. Let's hope this isn't the start of a trend), but as Dave said:
Pardon my French, but. . .


No, really, I'm not kidding.

*jaw drops*

Where Have All the Children Gone?

As pointed out by Glenn Reynolds... this article deals with the burgeoning demographic bust that could happen in today's "civilized" nations. I do agree that demographic trends have more affect on where our country will be in 50 years, as compared to say, who our President is... but as little as 15 years ago people were screaming the other side of this coin. It's not like they were using different math, or significantly different models, or even that they lived in different times - they just had different agenda's and decided to interpret data different ways. Anyone remember Bad Religion? How about 10 in 2010. Well, I guess we're in for a huge population boom b/c 2010 is now only 5 years away, and we're only about half way there. *shrugs*

There are always going to be things like tsunamis in Indonesia, earthquakes in Iran, mad cow in Canada, bird flu in China, SARS in asia, AIDS in Africa, obesity in America - you name it. Plus, the more we keep fucking with stuff like this, the more exotic these diseases are gonna become. Who do those people think they are? Seriously. At the end of the day do they honestly go home, tell their spouses what they did at work (created an abomination) and sleep well at night? Maybe, just maybe, it'd be a better use of their scientific acumen to find the gene that allows them to check their conscience at the door of their work. Sure would be nice to weed that one out...

January 26, 2005

I find it very...interesting...

...that within the past two weeks there have been at least two incidents or major headlines regarding nuclear/radioactive threat in some form.
There was the Boston dirty bomb threat, and the water leak at Fermi II in Michigan on Monday. (As an aside, pop quiz, where in the US is the largest Iraqi immigrant population?)

Now Drudge tells us that there is a Radiological Emergency in Downtown West Palm Beach.

Call me a tin-foil-head, but it seems to be a very strange coincidence to me.
I guess the follow up question would be, "If something WERE to happen, or if one of these incidents WERE serious, would we be told?"

Me thinks not.

Update: Barbara Boxer saga

I'd stated the obvious about a week ago: That Barbara Boxer is a dirty, dirty whore.

Now, we can see her for the opportunist she is. This bitch gets 5 seconds of national TV airing for *crying* at the Bush inauguration, this 5 seconds emboldens her so much and endears her to such an extent to bleeding-heart liberals that she has the gall to try and slam Condi Rice in her Senate approval hearings, then she comes out with this gem. This whore is riding this gravy train for all it's worth people and frankly, this makes me f*cking sick that people don't see this for what it is.

This has got to be literally the most shameless, spineless move I've ever seen made on the political scene.

I don't even know what to write, I was flabbergasted when I read this on Drudge. The gall of this woman...and the ignorance of those who voted for her... *shakes head*

January 25, 2005

Ace just got his first Insta-lanche!!!

This is so friggin awesome!!

I can't help but wonder if it had anything to do with the couple emails I'd sent Glenn a week or so ago, when Ace was gonna be on that Stanford radio program. It was only a matter of time, as I just said to Ace in an email
"Let's be honest: You can only ignore the 800 lb gorilla for so long..."
So, CONGRATS Ace! Just sorry you're off in Park City pimping some screen play and you won't even find out about this for a couple days. Regardless, rest assured, it won't be the last!

Ted Turner is a maniac

By new, you've all seen the Drudge exclusive, however hidden further on the right side of his page we see that Ted has a equating fellow media-competitors "Hitler" - he also has a history of "sincere" apologies following said events. I kind of doubt he's going to get away with his crocodile tear antics this time around. "One is backfire, three is gun play".

Kudos if you can name that movie without googling.

Seriously though, how can you look at that guy and not think "Maniac"?!?

Life imitates the movies

Swordfish in this case. Even though the best thing about that movie was the ball-bearing explosion scene at the beginning (exempting Halle Barry's tits of course), I always thought the concept of ultra-violent American commando's out-terrorizing the terrorists was a cool concept. Then again, my sense of justice is somewhat in line with Hammurabi's, and mine stopped evolving in the 4th grade.

The Puppy-blender is also into...

S&M!?!? WTF Glenn... is that a family blog?


Making hay while the sun shines

Awesome. Thanks Fink!

UPDATE: Fink is on frickin fire! He just sent me another gem. It's video's like this that make me miss winter. Watch the whole thing, and look for the people jumping out of their cars... you'd think they were gonna run into a pinto or something.

January 24, 2005

It's aliiiiiiiiiive!

Hey Sobek - get your @ss over here and DL this thing. Heheh.

Puauahah - my poor parents

A Northeast photoblog

Part one.

Part two.

Well, Fink just did it




The craziest SouthPark vid. Ever.

The Aristocrats. I don't get it either.

Quote of the week:

"Funny how the only time I get pulled over and let off with a warning is when the cop finds a gun in my car. There's a lesson in there somewhere kids."
-Me. This weekend. Oops.

January 23, 2005

Johnny Carson dead at 79

I'm watching NBC for some reason, and they cut in for a special report. Could this be a terrorist attack in Boston? Al-Zaquwi being captured? No. Shameless self promotion by NBC. Thanks for nothing guys. Of course they were just interupting the International Auto Show from Detroit. Why am I watching this? My DirecTV is out right now and I'm only getting local channels.

January 21, 2005

Coolest nickname ever

I was just in the kitchen at work getting some water with the head of our Platform when one of our Assistants walked in and referred to our boss as "Tai-pan". It took me all of 2 seconds to figure out to what she was referring, and it struck me: That is literally the coolest nickname one could ever have.


Google cannot tell a lie

Just the facts, ma'am.

File this under: Confirming what we already knew.

Just realized...

Happy Birthday

January 20, 2005


Some pictures of some dead fish found after the tsunami.

Not sure I believe that story as these things are super-deep-water fish, and there are stories of divers a mile or so out, who were 20 feet down who didn't feel a damn thing.

Either way, these things are friggin scary.

I wonder how transparent the flow of funds is in Saudi Arabia...

"The revenue from the slaughtered sheep and the coupons goes to a fund that pays for the meat to be distributed among low-income people outside Saudi Arabia."
My ass.

File this under: Things that make you go Hmmmmmm.

Public service announcement

I was diagnosed this morning with Obstructive Sleep Apnea (OSA). This condition is when you go to sleep, your airway closes and you stop breathing. The major problem with this is that oxygen levels drop dramatically and you never enter a deep restful sleep. I can sleep 16 hours and still not feel rested. I had a sleep study done and in a 150 minute time span, they counted over 200 episodes where I stopped breathing. The solution however is pretty easy. I recieved a CPAP (continual positive airway pressure) machine this morning, and I'm dying to try it out. It's a small machine that fits onto an air mask that uses air pressure to keep the airway open. The most publicity this condition has gotten was the sudden death of NFL great Reggie White. Here is a great site to learn more about the condition. I hope they don't mind, but I'm going to rip the symptoms and paste them here.

The signs and symptoms of OSA result from disruption of the normal sleep architecture. The frequent arousals and the inability to achieve or maintain the deeper stages of sleep can lead to excessive daytime sleepiness, nonrestorative sleep, automobile accidents, personality changes, decreased memory, erectile dysfunction (impotence), and depression.

Patients rarely complain about frequent awakenings due to obstruction, but awakenings do occur. Excessive daytime sleepiness may be mild or severe, depending on the severity of the obstruction. Some patients suffering from OSA fall asleep in a nonstimulating environment, such as while reading in a quiet room. Others may fall asleep in a stimulating environment, such as during business meetings, eating, and even while having sex. Patients with OSA often complain of waking up feeling like they had never slept at all. They often feel worse after taking a nap than they did before napping.

The so-called drowsy driver syndrome, which a growing number of law enforcement authorities believe to be responsible for many automobile accidents, may result from OSA, which causes some drivers to fall asleep at the wheel or to suffer from lack of alertness because of sleep deprivation. Decreased alertness places a person at risk in a variety of potentially hazardous situations. It is recommended that persons with excessive daytime sleepiness not drive or operate dangerous equipment until their condition is effectively treated. Other symptoms of OSA, such as morning headaches and frequent urination during the night, may be caused by apneic events themselves.

The physical signs that suggest OSA include loud snoring, witnessed apneic episodes, and obesity. Patients with OSA often say that their only problem is that their bed partner complains about their snoring. A large number of snorers are believed to have OSA. Many times, a sleep partner will witness an apneic event.

Hypertension is prevalent in patients with OSA, although the exact relationship is unclear. It has been shown, however, that treating OSA can modestly lower blood pressure.

Not everybody who snore has sleep apnea, but if two or more of the above symptoms are present the person should consider consulting a sleep specialist. A high score on the Epworth Sleepiness Scale is also a strong indicator of possible sleep apnea.


The most obvious complication arising from OSA is diminished quality of life brought on by chronic sleep deprivation and the symptoms described above. Coronary artery disease, cerebral vascular accidents (strokes), and congestive heart failure are being evaluated to define the exact nature of their connection to OSA. Some linkage between OSA and coronary artery disease and stroke has been demonstrated, although it is still uncertain whether OSA leads to an increased risk of stroke and coronary artery disease or if both OSA and cardiovascular problems are caused by a common problem, such as obesity. Obstructive sleep apnea aggravates congestive heart failure by placing stress on the heart during sleep. There is a high prevalence of OSA in patients with congestive heart failure.
If you or anyone you know fits this profile, please have it checked out. I'll report on how things have changed for me in the coming weeks.

January 19, 2005

VDL comes through, as always...

...with some clear-headed perspective.

My favorites you ask?
Abu Gharib gotchas. We really, really need some fresh atrocities, folks. Wake me when Americans start attaching explosives to people's chests and setting them off.
The ticking time-bomb of Muslim demographics in Europe. Their problem. Light fuse and get away.
Zing. Sweet.


Simply brutal.

H/t: Wizbang via a comment on Ace's

"False, but accurate"

Anyone else remember that excuse being run up the flag pole in response to Rather-gate? Think of that, then read this. Disgusting and/or retarded. We report, you decide.

The Anarchists...

...they're back.

I hope they all get busted for thinking they're so cute and smart. If these guys were 1/10th as crafty as they think they are, they'd figure out how to make a friggin missile.

But.... guess what... they're just a bunch of internet losers and won't do a God-damn thing about it.

New phenom: Urban Exploration (UE)

Just got this passed along to me by my man Sasseriansection - this looks like some *crazy.ass.shit* that Rob and Getchell would most definitely be into. I don't know how to explain it other than, these guys spelunk through places they're not supposed to be. Whether it be 300 year old abandoned victorian mansions with underwater ballrooms, abandoned half-constructed nuclear reactors, a San Diego jail, an abandoned aircraft carrier, old insane asylums in New England - you name it, they explore it.

Looks like tons of fun. Seriously.

Here are some resources:

January 18, 2005

You knew it, I knew it, now everyone knows it

Barbara Boxer is a dirty dirty whore.

And then some.

Right wing P.E.S.T.?

The left has their "post-election selection trauma" while the right has our "post-election sexual trauma". It's clear that there isn't much left to argue about...

Michele's post over as ASV is blowing.the f_ck.up. 160 comments and counting. About what makes women "hot". It's basically a "who would *you* bang" post. Good fun after a long weekend.

Reat it, as well as Ace's critique - where Allah continues his mysoginistic tirade.

By the way, be sure to catch Ace tonight on Stanford Radio
! It starts in about an hour bitches!

Ace (of Spades) is on the radio tonight!

Tune in here!!

And see his post about it here.

I've just sent my first round of questions in to the station manager - they're soliciting requests. If you want to do the same, click here.

This reminds me of a redneck joke.

Woman falls to death after balcony handstand.

Just before she fell, she had called out to a friend, "Watch to see what I can still do," a police report said. Foul play is not believed to be involved, officials said.

The spirit of Darwin is alive and well in Florida it seems.

A prayer of thanks.

Archbishop Kidnapped in Iraq Is Freed.

"He has been freed and he is on his way home without paying any ransom," said Potris Moshi, an assistant to the church leader.

The Vatican had branded the kidnapping a "despicable terrorist act" and demanded that he be freed. The Vatican said that a ransom of $200,000 had been initially demanded.

In my eyes, that still doesn't make things square. These bastards kidnapped a man of the cloth and tried to use him as a pawn in their sick and twisted game. I'm not even Catholic, and this made my blood boil.
However, Navarro-Valls [Papel Spokesman] said the Vatican didn't view the kidnapping as an anti-Christian act as such but as part of the general climate of violence. He said the archbishop was well-loved in the community.
When will these people learn?

January 17, 2005

Just bought my first piece of "artwork"

It's rather ironic in that if you look at this artists other stuff, you'll see a clear "anti-capitalist" message. However, with me being an objectivist - the satire in the painting is lost, and is mocked by 1) the price and 2) my actual purchase of it.

Heh. Now I just have to find a suitable frame....

Power lunch!

Inspired by Hog on Ice's sammich post from a while ago, I decided to cook up some generic grilled ham and cheese sammiches. So. F___ing. Good.

Since I have the day off I've also decided that I'm going to have a beer (or three) for lunch. This "Blue Star" beer is the best wheat beer I've ever had, and in the running for top 5 ever. This thing took me totally by surprise, as did the bottle of wine behind it. I'd randomly asked Pooponastick to pick me up a bottle of wine from the store. He comes back with this 2002 vintage cabernet sauvignon from Chile - Montes Alpha and Ho...ly sh_t (!) is this stuff good.

So, here's the beer:

What a damn good lunch. And you know what I'm going to do afterwords? Go shoot my goddamn gun. At the range unfortunately, I don't have the patience to drive 1.5 hours out to the desert, and I only own a pistol, so the desert isn't all *that* fun. Wait till I get a shotgun though. Heh.

Dr. King supports islamofacists.

Jesse Jackson and other black "leaders" say Dr. King would oppose the Iraq war.

It's pretty easy to put words in a dead man's mouth isn't it? Considering the civil rights we've given the people of Iraq, I can't imagine a more asinine statement. I refuse to believe that Dr. King would endorse the atrocities that pass as religion under the former regime. The abuse of women, the permenant silencing of free speech, I just can't see it, maybe someone can help me with that. Did Dr. King preach non-violence? Yes. Did he understand that sometimes force must be used against an enemy that are bloodthirsty savages. I think so.

Now a word from one of my heroes.

Hi. I'm Thomas Jefferson. I think liberals are fucking idiots.

Religion of Peace you say?

Fuck you is my response.

Where's Jesse Jackson / CAIR for this outrage?


Jesse Jackson - open mouth, insert agenda

Dr. King, what are we doing?

Tainting the man's legacy, I'd say.

What MISTER Jackson fails to recognize is the simple fact that equality equates to opportunity, not success. The day he stops banging the victim drum is the day I'll give a good God damn what he has to say. I wish Bill Cosby would backhand this race pimp. Does racism still exist? I'll be the first to say yes, but most of us are ready to move on and judge people based on merit rather than skin color. Wasn't that Dr. King's goal? Do you really think that Dr. King would be proud of Mister Jackson's constant support of an affirmative action system that patronizes the black community? Mister Jackson, you may have been a student of Dr. King's, but it becomes more apparent every day that you didn't learn much.

If you think the Cali flooding is bad...

I live just north of Indianapolis, with a warm spell melting snow and heavy rains have turned much of Indiana into a federal disaster area. Now comes the fun part. This weekend it turned cold again, freezing the flood waters and dropping 6 inches of snow. There is a park about 5 miles from Club Dave that floods approx. every spring. Now? It looks like a skating rink with 2 foot poles sticking out of the ice. The poles? It's the tops of swingsets and slides. Now living in a disaster area may seem like I'm rafting to the corner store for some milk, but the way the federal disaster rules are set up, it's really not like that. See, it's based on monetary damage done. In my county, I believe the number is 7 million dollars. I'd guess that the number of people displaced here is less than 1%. 7 million dollars is roughly 50-60 average homes. That's less than a subdivision here. One developer builds near a flood plain and guess what? Federal disaster. Now I'm not saying the flooding isn't bad, the fact that it's freezing over increases the damage tenfold. Only flooded in your crawlspace? That's not too bad, until it freezes and turns your foundation into rubble, or snaps your slab like a twig. I'll try to get out and get some pics soon.

January 14, 2005

Was Lincoln Gay?

In response to this post by Ace.

I think I speak for myself when I say, "Who gives a shit?"

I know one thing for sure, if my wife looked like this, and was loony. I might go in for a piece of man-pooter myself.

Drudge siren ain't got shit on me

However, in honor of "The Drudge Siren" I've come up with my own reader-notification system that something important has come up. I came up with this fantastic idea over at Sobek Pundit's, as he asked a question that cracked me up.
What's the Arab version of cowbell?
His response was "ululation", which is pretty funny in and of itself, but I had a better idea.

Let's be honest: when you picture Arabs celebrating *anything*, whether it be weddings, beheadings, pikings, female genital mutilation ceremonies, stonings, what is their standard for glee-expression/celebration? Right.

So, from now on - when some good news comes out in some Arab country (further proving our foray into Iraq was a stroke of genius), out comes my (soon to be patented) "Arab Siren".

The Prado dam could break

I ride mountain bikes with a lot of local guys, bounced this site off them to see what affect it might have on tomorrow's ride. Here are the two responses so far:
Although Prado dam is near the east end of next week's
Carbon Canyon ride, I doubt it will have any affect on
closures of the park. I'm not aware of any ride that
starts on that end of the park and there's really
nothing exciting over there to do anyway so I don't
see it as a problem.

I spoke with the rangers at Carbon Canyon who said
that the only closure they are aware of today is that
Carbon Canyon Road is shut down today east of the park
entrance. Even if the entire Carbon Canyon road was
closed, you could still come in at Rimcrest. The
ranger said that the Prado Dam incident is being
watched, but that they don't expect any park closures.
And really, having been a resident of this area for
32 years, I know that it's normal to let water out of
the dam after heavy rains and that the river usually
drains within a week. I think a few reporters and the
police got a little over zealous but who knows - maybe
there really is a problem. If there's indeed a crack,
does that mean that they'll have to drain the entire
dam to fix it? Doubtful.

Well that depends on what you mean by "affect". It will not change Black Star, Maple Springs, Harding, the Luge, Holy Jim, etc. but if the dam goes much of the Orange County basin will flood. Death tolls could be huge and property loss could reach 100 billion.
Emphasis mine. So, I guess that's like 2 square blocks of Newport Beach. Heh.

UPDATE: Here's a pic.

UPDATE 2: Brilliant. Looks like they had a whole bunch of renovations scheduled for the next 4-5 years. Let's hope this isn't a case of "too little too late".

UPDATE 3: There's a lot of loose shit going on here (around my blog - click and listen to that link first), so let me clear this up. This site is the offical source for info. Here is the most recent release. The next update is expected by 2:30 PST. Right now though, the "You're on notice" warning is for the following cities:
Basically every friggin city on the way to the ocean, in that order.

January 13, 2005

US spending per soldier per month

For Iraq.

$32,000 / soldier / month.

Why does that not sound so abso-fucking-lutely ridiculous as the anti-war left would make it sound. I mean, considering all the IED destruction/logistical support/armaments/pay/benefits/gas costs/bribes to locals - shit, that *really* isn't that much.

Think about it.

This was just sent to me in an email

With the note:
This is you in the office

Mick Boys, you're a bastard.

Nationalize health-care you say?

Maybe if you're concerned about over-population... Does anybody want to tell Hillary why Japanese people smile with their mouths closed?

Read up, BookofJoe is one of the best blogs out there that no body has ever read. I got linked to it (before 2.0) when it was still a daily pr0n site, then about a week later he took it down for a few weeks and up came the blog. Since they he's been kicking ass with all sorts of completely esoteric stuff that you'd never think of, and coming out with some good "Behind the Medspeak" columns (he's a doctor in his spare time).

Good stuff all around.

Free Speech? In this country?

Two men arrested for telling "lawyer" jokes.

First off, I do NOT support drunk driving.

I DO however support freedom of speech, especially if it bashes lawyers. Which reminds me.
What do you have when you've got a lawyer buried up to his neck in sand? Not enough sand.

I wonder if the prosecutor will push this as a hate crime? Any bets? Where's the justice in the country? People can call Michelle Malkin all kinds of truly repulsive and vulgar things and claim freedom of speech, but these guys get busted for telling jokes.

January 12, 2005

Those sensitive liberals

Let's see what they have to say to Michelle Malkin. Who, in her infinite graces, threw me a bone the other week, that I happened to be out of town for. *sighs*

The Blogger Nation

An absolutely KICK ASS first article to read of the day.

Very, very cool.

UPDATE: Today has all the makings of a great day: IowaHawk chimes in with yet another priceless Dan Rather spoof, working in all the inside bloggy joke goodness with his usual finesse.

January 11, 2005

Photoblog Maui

Yeah. You're pissed you weren't there.

This is the biggest damn snail I've ever seen in my life. We picked this thing up from the driveway at the house.

Seeing as how it rained the first 4 days I was there, we figured we'd check out this super-fresh-water river a the last day we were there to catch the un-tainted water coming down from the "Wettest place on Earth" - literally, it rains 365 days/year. I forgot what it's called, I'll have to get back to you guys on that, but this water was probably 50 degree's, and running a good 10 mph. Very cool.

This is the group we went to the river thing with. Jon and his bro, Dante, Geoff, Cori and myself.

This is a view from the porch of the family I was staying with. Yeah. Beachfront. Wow.

My favorite pic. You should see this on full quality. *jaw drops*

A set rolling in at Ho'okipa. Very cool surf spot. Another cool pic. For scale purposes, these waves were probably 20-30 feet tall. All day long.

Geoff. I like this pic too.

The infamous Jaws. Laird Hamilton was towing into this spot earlier in the day. We missed him, but caught some big waves. I think Geoff got some better pics of this, I was busy scopin the trim off to the left of us.

Grass Roots? Mainstream? You Serious?

Howard Dean announces his bid for DNC chair.

I'm crossing all my fingers and toes.
If he wins I want to see him on stage giving Michael Moore a deep soul kiss. Barbra Boxer can wave a rainbow flag.

I'm going to have an aneurism today

The last two days have been pretty unique for me. Despite the weather, I've come into work happy for whatever reason. It is now 9:30, and by this time both yesterday and today I've already wanted (nay, needed) to leave work. I swear, I work with some of the most conniving, incompetent people around. For those of you who know my personality, that is unacceptable.

UPDATE: Yeahp, it's official. Just had my first break-down @ work.

Latin American disasters? Whaddyamean?

The Diplomad: The Evil of Good? Thinking About Unintended Consequences. As always, another great read from these guys.

January 10, 2005

Let's start a new meme

Close enough for government CBS work.

A few "big media" gaffes

Funny that they don't report on any of 60 Minutes' other fuck-ups.

Like this.

Or this 20/20 outright lie. Which was later hilariously lampooned in Top Secret.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL. Another great reference to "myopic zeal". I think this one is gonna stick folks. Lt. Smash is also on the case.

OK, just Googled the term, looks like there are only 7,070 hits so far. Let's watch how this blows up when the google-spiders hit today's postings. Off to technorati...too many to count. Heh. I'll see what I can do about finding some of the more "fun" entries and post links here.

Cool, Technorati says this guy was first with the hilarious "myopic zeal" snipe. Good stuff.

It's like a bike tire..... on crack

Seriously though, how is this different? Except for the fact that the tire is basically welded to the rim. It's probably some sort of "soft" ceramic that acts like the tire.

Wonder if one could eliminate the "spokes" altogether and use magnets. I've been thinkin about that for years...

Vindication (?)

Read for yourself.

I'm not sold, but at least they fired Mapes. I really got a kick out of the term, "myopic zeal". Heh. Couldn't have said it better myself. Click the words for the exact definitions for a good chuckle.

January 07, 2005


You Are the Challenger


You're brave, impulsive, and gutsy - loving challenges.

You act first and think later. And you're not afraid to speak up.

You are confident, so much so that you can be a bit bossy at times.

Whether people like it or not, you always stand up for yourself.

I'm on frickin fire today

Another great find. It seems more and more people are sharing my enjoyment of Ace and Hog on Ice these days. Fantastic. Hope those guys keep kicking ass - and check out George while you're at it. Good stuff all around.

The rising cost of crude oil is wonderful

Ding ding ding.

Read it. And my comments to his post. I don't feel like re-writing them here, but I do find it interesting that they sell bio-diesel at regular gas stations on Paia, Maui, HI. Also cool that the gov't has to "subsidize" bio-diesel sales (by not taxing it 100% like they do gas). So you've got a double whammy (at least):
1) shrink gov't coffers and force them to reduce how much they spend
2) reduce our reliance on foreign oil

More to come later. Maybe.

h/t: Big props out to Pooponastick for this link. This guys a new blogger, and his few posts are pretty kick ass so far. Keep an eye out folks.

January 06, 2005

OCC - the TV series

Yup, this just about sums it up.

That show is an embarrassment.

h/t: Pooponastick - who's too f*cking lazy to post it himself. Heh. :{P <- that's a mustachio'd pbbt for you P, dirtball. Hehe.

I just realized something

I think my office is bigger than my bedroom.


There are lies, damned lies...

...and statistics

Or at least Democratic statisticians.

I sense a new Michael Moore movie in the making

Did New York Orchestrate The Asian Tsunami?
With Afghanistan and Iraq already lost, the Wall Street bankers were all desperately looking for other ways to control our world, when suddenly and very conveniently, the Sumatran Trench exploded. Trick or Treat?

h/t: LauraW via Ace

Light blogging

Just got back from vacation. Had a pretty killer time, minus the weather. Go figure Michelle Malkin throws me a bone while I'm away from the computer for a week. *sighs* Next time I'll be around to capitalize I guess.

Back to the point of this post, I'm way behind at both work and with the news so give me a bit to get back up to speed and then we'll see what happens.

In the meantime maybe one of my guest-bloggers could pick up some of the slack...